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hits
im like damn it bawling my eyes out, again.
what the. i was with my dad just now, then he called my mum. then my mum asked to talk to me. and she screamed at me etc. about what? the chiangmai trip again. and then she made me cry till i cant talk properly. and she said this. "u wana argue mright, then dun come home" then i shouted "fine nahh! i wont." then in the end, my dad drove me home. damn. if not, i would go elis's house camp or sth. then my uncle called. argued with me again. whats their freaking problem seriously. then he was like "im trying to pamper u by asking u to the movie, and u didn reply me.", and then i said " i feel that u all are just trying to make up for not letting me go for the trip" and he said im not sensible and everything. he said he thought im an adult already. and i said, "yes, i am, thats why i have my own thinking" then he said im ruining the family's relationship because of a STUPID trip. and he kept criticising it and said that im not sensible, im talking nonsense, im not making sense, he's disappointed in me. all those stuff. how the hell do u think i feel? and im downright 100 percent bloody sure that im talking sense okae. and when he cant out talk me about the reasons to go for the trip, he talked about the cost. then i said i will pay, and he said he's disapponted in me. what the freak. and when he cant out talk me again, he said this "just come home now, im tired of talking." what the spongebob. whats the damn problem man? they dun even freaking give a damn about my feelings, about the cause and the reasons for going there. they just freaking rattle on about the hiv kids. what the hell. freak. and he threatened me, he said "okae, if u wanna go, go all u want, next time got anything, i will straight away say no" what the, im really freaking pissed. and then i said " i had been a good girl all along, until this trip" and he said "yes, thats why u are not sensible" or sth like that. i just feel like running away from home. for good. i have never felt this way in my whole life before. the trip really means so much to me.
i love my family like always and i respect them and i obey what they want me to do most of the time, and he say that im not respecting them and stuff. just freaking get the hell of their freaking voices out of my head, please.
and she still said that if im unhappy, tell her. i din even say anything to her. i just didn reply her messages and calls.
I HATE THEM.
and i was freaking crying to my hamsters just now. and they just kept eating the sunflower seeds that i fed them. they dun care me. -_-".
i never had a happy day since friday. everynight,im just crying and crying. i think my tears can feel half a bucket. not kidding.
anyway, haiz. forget about those. i did have my bit of fun this morning. met clement and darren and erin early in the morning at clementi. then trained to expo. i attended their service today. delirious came. the service was rather good yea. the pastor is darn young and super cute and funny. clement is so nice. he brought a jacket for me! then there was this whole bunch of guys that thought that im clement's girlfriend?! alright. after the service, went to rocky master for lunch. and erin took the last lasagne that clement and i wanted. and clement was so grouchy!! he kept disturbing erin and "scolding" her. haha, just darn funny larr huh. then after that, trained to clementi. i was supposed to watch "i not stupid too" with my uncle and brother and my uncle's gf. but i didn wanted to go home. so i went to my dad's house. but anyway, clement is damn funny. those guys are really fun to be with. seriously. yahh. i had lotsa fun yahh. so yah, had dinner at my dad's and stuff then came home. and those HORRIBLE stuff happened.
anyway, best of luck fairfield soccer b'div. u guys can do it.
>gerald kwa, u said that if i support, u all will win. so u all better win tomorrow. cause im gonna be there.
>clement!
thanks thanks for today. i had fun. haha. and thanks for everything. u are sweet. haha
thanks to alot of ppl yahh. im really encouraged. and miss yeo is nice. miss yeo said that she will talk to my mum. but i dunno whether they talked already a not. but, anyway thanks miss yeo, even for trying to get mr ganesan.
I DREAMT OF BRING IN CHIANGMAI. BEING THERE WITH THE KIDS. WITH THOSE ADORABLE ONES. WITH THAT BUNCH OF PPL. WITH MISS LEE AND MISS NG. I DREAMT OF HOLDING HANDS WITH LISSA AND YUNXING, DANCING AROUND A FIRE
WITH THOSE KIDS. I KNOW I WILL LOVE THE TRIP. I KNOW.
laughter and cries.
damn it, big time.
swollen eyes--fcukstrated.
2/05/2006 10:24:00 PM
THE GIRL
fairfield
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