JUST SO YOU KNOW ;

Friday, July 14, 2006

i cried. so much last night. and my eyes looked so puffed up this morning.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY TAN KENG HENG! <3!

chem prac was finee today. fruit walked into the room, saw ven, GOOD MORNING SIR AND WHOOOO. idiotic fruit. ohwells. only four dee-ers understand. finished quite fast. then miss liang checked my answers and asked me to help her give out papers. nothing much. it was raining. then there were a few pieces of paper lying on the ground, wet. and guess who they belong to? FRUIT. fruit's maozedong and nazi mindmap were WET.

lit was next. had lit test. i finished really fast. and so, i slept. then miss hia came over and looked at my paper, then she woke me up and ask me to do part b. then i was like HUH, i do finish alr. my answer was so short that she thought that its only one part. -_-" i asked fruit, HOW ARE YOUR PAPERS and fruit replied THEY ARE FINE -_-" then elis kept laughing so i asked her why. then she said that ian said this "cedric, can you hear my stomach growling?" then he put his hand to his stomach, and said GROWL. then went out, ate honeydew. went to the toilet and stuff. yah. lit is always fun. cause the ppl around me are a fun bunch.

ss was next. had some test. i didn really know how to do. but nvm lah. hmm there wasn enough test papers, so i had to share with grace. hmm yah. then dunno why, suddenly colin shrieked. then we all looked at him. then he said that chengkai poked his ass with his pencil. it was hilarious man.

recess was fun. fourdee all sat close together. then we sang happy birthday song for kengheng! then esmonde was guessing my birthday. he actually forgotten ): then i kept poking him with the chopsticks cause he kept getting it wrong. then i asked kh if he remembers my bdae. then he guessed wrongly also. i poked myself with the chopsticks. HEARTBROKEN ah kengheng. i didn jab you cause its ur birthday. so yah. then elis and chye aik were fighting with her water bottle. so i helped elis and sprayed chye with my bottle. then what the hell. we started fighting like mad. and i laughed till i nearly died. then i was running to save my bag then he hit my forehead with his palm. PAKK. and i got a headache after that. idiot. then he started throwing me my bag, jacket, books, water bottle and colin's bottle. then i catched till like mad lah. like some retard. i saw fruit while walking up the stairs then i said to him "i ate you just now"

emath was next. nth much.

then bio. mr chan was saying what, to find four leaf clovers, you are already very lucky, but now, you can find five or six, fantastic! he said in a damn funny way.

hmm after school. went to find the girlies. then yah. sat there, chatted and stuff. corinne said "i have ten music" HAHA. she meant ten songs. and she said sth like "he provokted me" then i HUH? PROVOKED? thats our miss-i -does-take-bio.

so yah. tried to do my compre. sorry miss mano, i promise i will put it in ur pigeon hole first thing monday morning. hmm. went to dover to get food. then yah. then was eating then i was fighting with corinne. then my smart husband kicked the packet or sth, the all the vinegar spilt on me. AHHHH. damn stink lah. then i hurriedly changed. then they helped me to wash my clothes. then jul cor and i went to find lin and jac. then we played handball. super tiring, but damnit fun. then we played dodgeball with fifi they all. super funny lah, we laughed like what th crap man.

then after that we played cards. then played number snap. someone scratched me then the whole skin came off then it started bleeding. then played rat attack and stuff. shaun was damn lame, with all his lame comments and stuff. its nice having him around. he was supposed to play scissors paper stone with corinne. then he put scissors and paper out tgt -_-"

hmmm had a real fun time there.

then went to play captains ball. really fun also. with daniel they all. but there was this guy who was DARN IRRITATING AND ACTION lah. cant stand him. idiot man. then he freaking threw the ball at my hand. pakk damn freaking loud lah. dman freaking painful. then now my thumb is still damn painful. inside is like redd lah. idiot man.

then played highest point with lin lin then had water fights. then went home with jaclyn and shaun. shaun is a damn damn damn nice guy. we chatted on the bus and stuff yah.

dont really have any mood to blog.

> JOEL!! saw you today and i screamed JOEL CHUA! you take caree of you shoulder alright? PLEASE.

> CLEMENT CHOY! i know ure pissed, but hey! cool down okay! and u bluffed me lah. i waited for ur damn call idiot.

> JACLYN! heyy honey. thanks for everything, for always standing by me and stuff. i cant express how much i love you. but i do love you, alot.

> LIN! its been so long since we last played tgt. i miss you so much. haven even been talking to you lately. but today was fun. i miss you so much lah. IM STILL WET idiot.

> CORINNE! heyy darling, you know i love you. thanks for everything. i know you care about me. thanks.

> JULIA! heyy today was fun! lovee

> AILEEN! please please my dearest, be happy alright?

> NIC! although you left early today, but its okay yah. and please cheer up. i love you.

/im at my lowest now. it feels like two years back. a repeat. it sucks so bad. everything is making me think that the feeling's gone. and that you have replaced me with another in ur heart. its amazing how much things have changed. from all day smsing, fast replies. to minimal smsing a day. to snail-like replies. from the three-hour long calls to not even a call. from all those, i love you smses to oh haha. from smsing no-matter-what-we-are-doing and whenever-i-can-sms to only smsing if-you-remember-my-existance. from all those sweet as honey stuff to platonic actions. from going out every week to haven gone out for a month. from "i hope we will meet on the bus" to not wanting to be seen with me. from "i love you forever" to not a single "love you" anymore. from i dont mind ______" to "actually i mind a bit". from "i love you alot alot" to "i have lost feelings for you, but i still like you." from smiling at each other in school to walking past each other as if we dont know each other. from you being so caring to not giving a damn. from you planning for the weekend at the start of the week to not asking me out anymore. from sweetness to nothing. from happiness to sadness. from colourful to dull grey. from smiling to crying everyday. you have changed. so have i. my life is a wreck now.

you are not trying. you arent.

i tried being positive. telling myself, it needs time. but everything is proving me wrong. everything is going against what i tried to believe in. i tried to believe in reassurances. but when one's gone, guess the rest dont count anymore. i tried so hard, and i lowered myself. i did so much and all is going down the drain. i tried and i took the initiative. i have never ever did all these in my entire life.

a sudden and drastic dip.

i thank GOD for the wonderful people that HE has placed in my life. really, im blessed with really awesome and amazing friends. never will i exchange them for anything. never.

i must learn to pick myself up. im trying. its hard. it hurts.

im sick and tired of pretending to be happy. pretending to be laughing while my heart's aching so badly. putting on a smile and saying "im fine, im okay" but what is there that i can do? i hate to lie, i hate to pretend but i have to. cause, i hate people asking me and i hate making ppl worry. i hate troubling people.

> a wound too deep, far too deep than you can ever imagine.

if only i could turn back time-

rewrite my story ;
7/14/2006 10:28:00 PM