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Saturday, July 15, 2006

i have not lived a day these two weeks without crying. as i read through your smses, those precious lil things in my inbox, its no wonder that i cried again. things are so so different now. i miss those times, i do. its so scary, aint it? two tuesdays ago, you still said 'love you' to me. and the very next day, till now. you never did again. a day, and all's changed. i have no idea why. and you said you dont also. there must be a reason, but no one knows why. or maybe you do, but you dont wish to reveal.

crying seems to be a daily routine. it hurts that bad.

i know i was never perfect. never wonderful. perhaps even bad to you. i tried pushing you to some other. i tried to not tell you certain things, cause i was upset. and you spent the whole day asking me about it, and i know i have hurt you a couple of times. sorry for those one liners i had ever sent. but please do understand, i was upset, thats why i did that. sorry for telling you that i like someone else. it didn seem like you were bothered by it at all. i cant think of any other times that i have hurt you. maybe the worst ones were the two times when i tried giving you away. im sorry for that. but i have changed my mindset, cause i love you.

the sweetness i experienced in these three months cant be compared to anything else. its valuable, its precious, and i treasure it. the memories that we had, they are etched in my memory, forever. all the many many movies. all the poking and tickling in bus rides and cinemas, trying ways and means to disturb each other. all those shopping and stuff. all those ice cream that we ate. the times when we laughed at stuff in buses. dear, they mean so so much to me. and those funny ways of _______ __ ____. those ______. popcorn fights, and everything else. those super sweet smses, those times that you never want to stop talking to me. they made me feel loved. i really did feel that you love me.

im making my point clear now. i love you more than i ever did. but you dont feel the same anymore. you dont even seem affected by the current situation. you seem to be so normal, so happy still. but deep inside, i wish youre affected by it, cause that means you care. you will never know how much my heart's aching. the memories cant stop flooding my mind. youre the first and last thing on my mind always. i have changed for you. and you said that you will try to change. i have not seen anything coming from you. all i can see is that things are getting worse as each day passes.

you say you still have feelings for me, and all that you lost wasn alot. but perhaps all you have for me now, is like, not love. and its sliding, decreasing as every second passes. perhaps im naive, perhaps im dumb. but the bottomline is, i love you.

there was this period of time that i found out that i didn really like you as much as i thought i did. and i felt so bad. but i didn dare to tell you. i didn want you to know. but now, its the same for you. but i felt it, and i found out. perhaps if i didn ask, everything would have gotten better.

i cant stop thinking about the incident when i told you that i dont dare to love you. and you were so sweet. i'll never forget that line. "its okay if you dont dare to love me, i understand" and when i told you that i like someone else and you said "nvm.. no matter what. ill still love u (:" and all those "i love you okay!"and "i love you alot okay! really alot alot (:" and everything else. man, i cant stop missing them. i cant. all those msn conversations too. i saved almost everyone of them. and tears just flowed as i read thru them.

"haha, cause ure mine only" -me
"haha. yes yes. im urs only and forever okay"
"haha OKAY!"
"haha"
"i love u!
"hahaha i love you toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"hahah"
"i love u most!! (:"
"hahaha me too me too"
"errs as in i love you most too"
"but i love myself also! haha"
"hahaha idiot.."
"who doesnt love yourself"
"haha true ah"
"so u love urself more"
"or u love me more? hahaha"
"kidding"
"haha of cos i love you more swtheart"
"HAHA REALLY? (:"
"aww u make me so happy!"
"hahaha"
"hahah really ((: haha"
"i really love u alot (:"

"haha YAY!"
"i love you too honey! (((((((((:"

one of the many many sweet conversations that we had.

i really hope things will get better, really. back to the past.

i know you dont read my blog. but its okay.

the sweet love that we had.
let it come back, please.

rewrite my story ;
7/15/2006 01:05:00 PM

THE GIRL

kimberley

fairfield
sixteen
7th august 90
kimberley_yeo@hotmail.com
NETBALLER
wing attack-
centre
fourDEE 06 <3
bottle; ALPHABERTS
froggie; NETBALL ZOO
slimy; the SLs
no.2; STFs
thomas; MUT
squid; UNDER THE SEA
DIAMOND

EATING; SHOPPING
sleeping, rotting, slacking

has a SWEET TOOTH

know more abt me ;

MY WANTS

GET INTO ACJC!
PLAY IN SNEAKERS YOUTH!

1.NEW DIGI CAM!!
2.IPOD NANO(black)
3.MALTESE PUPPY!
~~4.ADIDAS DUBBLE BAG-$49~~
5.NIKE SNEAKERS
~~6.ADIDAS JACKET(black)-$79~~
~~7.THAT BROWN DRESS-$35~~
~~8.NEW HANDPHONE~~
~~9.ADIDAS NETBALL SHOES~~
10.silver necklaces
~~11.more earrings~~; ~~another piercing~~
12.more bracelets; ~~necklaces~~
13.more skirts; ~~jeans~~
14.more flats; heels
~~15.ASICS NETBALL SHOES~~
16.that FCUK for a fortnight tee-$49
17.new birks(madrid), white/green/yellow
~~19.that white giovanna heels-$24~~
~~20.that rainbow belt-$8~~
~~21.that white roxy tee-$35~~
~~22.that noda heels, brown-$33~~
~~23.a black or brown volcom shirt~~
~~24.that white puma belt-$16~~
25.denim skirt
~~26.yellow nike sb(cross back)~~
~~27.that white&purple nike bag-$94~~
28.denim shorts
29.yellow and green fila spag
30.that charles and keith heels
31.more polo tees
32.new pencil case
33.white shorts
34.yellow roxy surf shirt-$55
35.a yellow/brown stussy shirt
~~36.levis, MARISSA bootcut, 27-$139~~
37.~~black/white/~~green topshop shirt-$16
38.black collared long sleeved
39.RITZ APPLE STRUDEL
40.SECRET RECIPE CHOC BANANA CAKE
41.KIT KAT COOKIE DOUGH!
42.that yellow rusty handbag -$23
~~43.that green mango barca tank-$19~~
44.new ripcurl or roxy wallet
45.that white/brown ripcurl skirt-$69
46.that black ripcurl pants-$69
47.that white&purple adidas top-$39
48.that pair of nike socks-$10
49.that green butterfly havaianas-$39
50.that red butterfly havaianas-$29
51.that green mango tee-$25

/cravings
.chocolates
.brownies ; mrs fields
.cookies ; famous amos
.mudpies ; nydc
.ice cream ; gelare, ben&jerry's
.cakes ; secret recipe, nydc
.ritz apple strudel
.secret recipe chocolatebananacake
.KIT KAT COOKIE DOUGH!

I LOVE PRESENTS
THE MORE, THE MERRIER (:

THE MUSTS

~~1. crash kengheng's house!~~
~~2. netball camp!~~
~~3. celebrate leon's birthday~~
~~4. midnight cycling~~; again
5. mahjong marathon
~~6. go to sentosa~~; again
7. pool marathon
~~8. dvd marathon~~; ~~again~~
~~9. 6.1 chalet!~~
10. 2b chalet!
11. 4d chalet!! <3
12. 1a outing!
~~13. NETBALL!~~
~~14. crash leon's house~~; again
15. go shopping with mummy
16. stock up on ice cream and more junk
17. buy birthday presents
18. shopping sprees!
~~19. go to vivo~~
20. bring my granny to the movies!
21. use my books as fuel for bbq
22. essential brew with undergrads!
~~23. buy essentials like barricades~~
~~24. cut my hair~~
25. go out with many many people
26. plan more stayovers
27. psycho mummy to bring me to bangkok
28. LOSE FATS!
29. clubbing
30. get a job
31. pack EVERYTHING
32. bake cookies and brownies
33. cycling at ubin
34. sailing boats with jewel!
35. midnight jogging
~~36. food marathon~~
~~37. fcbc musical~~
~~38. christmas party(family)~~
~~39. christmas bbq~~
~~40. christmas stayover~~

; strike them off

SHOUT OUTS

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a very big welcome!
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FOURDEE 06 ; THE BEST CLASS EVER <3