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lurve,
hits
we have never not talk for such a long period of time. never. and i wasnt the one who didn reply. i did okay. u smsed others and not me. i wanted to sleep. but i couldn. every second, i was just waiting for my damn phone to ring. it rang, but the smses werent from you.
you have changed so much. so fcuking much.
i just kept thinking and thinking that i couldn sleep. i dunno why. just recalled this day that i didn go to school. and when i woke up, my phone had five smses. FIVE. they go sth like, hey u there, just left house blah blah. then eh, u sleeping ah, wake up, later u miss the bus stop. hey wake up now! u didn come to school isit? heyy you there, did u come to school?
and now? what are we?
why am i so fcuking affected? i kept telling myself that its alright, and that it doesnt matter. since he doesnt care now, why should i. the last time i said this. he kept on telling me that he cares, it matters. all those reassurances. fcuk everything now. what the hell is going on.
im so damn freaking upset. i am.
i kept myself going cause of clement. his smses and everything, they made me smile. made me laugh. they cheered me up, but that sweet guy doesn even know whats going on with me.
and i have been freaking bad to certain people lately. im so freaking sorry.
been rather grumpy and a lil hot tempered. thanks to everyone for bearing with me.
i hate to cry. i really hate it. but i cant stop the tears. why do i even bother, to still write u a card and stuff. and put it in ur locker. why do i still bother. why am i the one trying to salvage everything and u are not. why am i trying so freaking hard.
KIM, PLEASE STOP TRYING. PLEASE STOP BEING A FOOL.
to that girl. if u think its fun pointing at me and laughing, and all those. come on, freaking grow up. you freaking jealous kid. so we arent what were last time. but still, u and him are never even gonna be what we are now, though things are so bad. so, freaking grow up please. if u think that all those dissing actions are amusing, i seriously think that ure sick in the mind. if u think that dissing me is fun, i have only "childish" to say. all i know is that ure jealous. that ure trying to laugh at me to make me feel worse. ohwells. let me tell u sth. its nothing surprising after knowing how hard u have been trying to get him. all ur smses, actions and everything. even if i were to give him up to you, he will never ever like you. if you think that im wrong, then go ahead. carry on with ur wonderful thinking and continue dreaming that he will be urs if i let him go. the point is, im gonna let him go, and lets see if he will like you. so laugh all you want, just dont cry in the end.
you are so different.
this weekend, guess its off between us. i was so looking forward to it.
im gonna let you go, but i will hold on to the memories. they are beautiful. far more beautiful that anyone can ever imagine. im gonna cry, alot, alot more. i guess. i really do love you. but i didn treasure you as much as you did treasure us. i was pretty bad. i brought it upon myself i guess. so i tried to salvage it. maybe i saw an improvement. but maybe thats just an assumption. i have no idea how we will end. but i dont want it to end. i dont want. its surprising how your love for me kept growing and mine just stayed stagnant. and its even more surprising that we have switched positions now. my love for you is increasing and yours for me, dropping. though you claimed that whats lost is lil, and its not decreasing anymore, it hurts. and im feeling damn insecure and everything. maybe it will be better if i end it now. but i cant bring myself to do it. what is there left to do? i dunno. i have never faced this kinda situation before. never. i was wrong to have liked another and stuff. and i was wrong to even think of going with that person. but i have come back to you. and now, things are in such a bad state. im at my wits end.
i really want us back. really.
thanks to all who smsed me and stuff. thanks yah. people who are always there, nic, elis, chye aik, lissa, jaclyn, christina, corinne, sheranne, clement, joel, edmund, yunxing, xinyi and so on.
though i didnt tell most of you whats going on in my life, i wanna thank you all for being there and for caring. for asking about stuff and showing your concern. im sorry that i didnt reveal to some whats inside me. but i really appreciate you all, darn alot.
wonderful friends that God had blessed me with-
a jolly outward conceals a bleeding heart. now, the hurt is too big for me to hide.
im calmer now.
perhaps i should think, in his shoes.
7/18/2006 11:29:00 PM
THE GIRL
fairfield
sixteen
7th august 90
kimberley_yeo@hotmail.com
NETBALLER
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