just how
i just dont understand
a day and everything changed.
its been 25 days since then.
things have been getting worse as each day passes.
and now, whats left of ur feelings for me is just abit.
it hurts so damn freaking bad when u answered that.
i bawled like a baby, i did.
then when i asked you are we over.
u said its up to me.
i really dont know what you want
i really dont know how things became like that.
i have tonnes of unanswered questions in me.
they are bursting to be answered.
i need those answers.
i need them badly.
called nic last night.
sorry girl, to trouble you.
i cried over the phone like some dumb ass.
and yah, i kept crying as i read thru his smses,
darn, they were hell sweet.
your love did fade fast, and it makes me wonder if you ever did truly love me.
i guess you will say yes.
cause i think that you did.
but things just change, all of a sudden.
why so?
i have no idea.
i dont want all this to be happening.
i want the past back.
you dont sms.
you dont call.
you dont ask me out anymore.
and is that doing ur part of trying to get the feelings back?
things are just deterioting.
i dont want it to end.
i really dont want.
but i dont know what to do.
perhaps an end is the best for both you and i.
but i cant bear to let it go.
i cant.
i need to clear all my doubts.
i need to know what exactly you want.
before i say if we are over.
but i want you to know that
i never wanted us to be over.
i never did.
and never will.
my life's a wreck now.
pretending to be happy when im not is just getting harder.
the concealment is failing.
my heart's defying orders to stop loving you.
everythings' crashing, burning.
so which way am i heading.
so whats my choice?
i dont know.
oh gosh, im so totally wrecked.
being in the state that im in,
i still console ppl.
i still try to help them.
its hard, its not easy.
but at least they do get me off my own thoughts for a little while.
im more than happy to be able to help.
but now the person i need to help the most
is myself.
from alot to abit, over twenty five days.
how wonderful is that.
i just feel like dying.
i just want to escape from all these.
but i know its no point doing that.
i have to face it, solve it.
if it ends, we will still be friends.
it will be awkward perhaps.
maybe we are better off that way.
maybe we shouldnt have even started at all.
maybe we should have just stayed as liking each other.
just whats wrong with you?
and us?
you have changed.
you have.
you seem to be having the heck care attitude now.
the insecurity is killing me.
im so dashed.
its just two more days.
just two.
two.
7/30/2006 11:26:00 AM
THE GIRL
fairfield
sixteen
7th august 90
kimberley_yeo@hotmail.com
NETBALLER
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centre
fourDEE 06 <3
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no.2; STFs
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DIAMOND
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