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Sunday, July 30, 2006

just why
just how
i just dont understand

a day and everything changed.
its been 25 days since then.
things have been getting worse as each day passes.
and now, whats left of ur feelings for me is just abit.
it hurts so damn freaking bad when u answered that.
i bawled like a baby, i did.
then when i asked you are we over.
u said its up to me.
i really dont know what you want
i really dont know how things became like that.
i have tonnes of unanswered questions in me.
they are bursting to be answered.
i need those answers.
i need them badly.

called nic last night.
sorry girl, to trouble you.
i cried over the phone like some dumb ass.
and yah, i kept crying as i read thru his smses,
darn, they were hell sweet.

your love did fade fast, and it makes me wonder if you ever did truly love me.
i guess you will say yes.
cause i think that you did.
but things just change, all of a sudden.
why so?
i have no idea.
i dont want all this to be happening.
i want the past back.

you dont sms.
you dont call.
you dont ask me out anymore.
and is that doing ur part of trying to get the feelings back?
things are just deterioting.
i dont want it to end.
i really dont want.
but i dont know what to do.
perhaps an end is the best for both you and i.
but i cant bear to let it go.
i cant.

i need to clear all my doubts.
i need to know what exactly you want.
before i say if we are over.
but i want you to know that
i never wanted us to be over.
i never did.
and never will.

my life's a wreck now.
pretending to be happy when im not is just getting harder.
the concealment is failing.
my heart's defying orders to stop loving you.
everythings' crashing, burning.
so which way am i heading.
so whats my choice?
i dont know.
oh gosh, im so totally wrecked.

being in the state that im in,
i still console ppl.
i still try to help them.
its hard, its not easy.
but at least they do get me off my own thoughts for a little while.
im more than happy to be able to help.
but now the person i need to help the most
is myself.

from alot to abit, over twenty five days.
how wonderful is that.

i just feel like dying.
i just want to escape from all these.
but i know its no point doing that.
i have to face it, solve it.
if it ends, we will still be friends.
it will be awkward perhaps.
maybe we are better off that way.
maybe we shouldnt have even started at all.
maybe we should have just stayed as liking each other.

just whats wrong with you?
and us?
you have changed.
you have.

you seem to be having the heck care attitude now.
the insecurity is killing me.

im so dashed.
its just two more days.
just two.
two.

rewrite my story ;
7/30/2006 11:26:00 AM

THE GIRL

kimberley

fairfield
sixteen
7th august 90
kimberley_yeo@hotmail.com
NETBALLER
wing attack-
centre
fourDEE 06 <3
bottle; ALPHABERTS
froggie; NETBALL ZOO
slimy; the SLs
no.2; STFs
thomas; MUT
squid; UNDER THE SEA
DIAMOND

EATING; SHOPPING
sleeping, rotting, slacking

has a SWEET TOOTH

know more abt me ;

MY WANTS

GET INTO ACJC!
PLAY IN SNEAKERS YOUTH!

1.NEW DIGI CAM!!
2.IPOD NANO(black)
3.MALTESE PUPPY!
~~4.ADIDAS DUBBLE BAG-$49~~
5.NIKE SNEAKERS
~~6.ADIDAS JACKET(black)-$79~~
~~7.THAT BROWN DRESS-$35~~
~~8.NEW HANDPHONE~~
~~9.ADIDAS NETBALL SHOES~~
10.silver necklaces
~~11.more earrings~~; ~~another piercing~~
12.more bracelets; ~~necklaces~~
13.more skirts; ~~jeans~~
14.more flats; heels
~~15.ASICS NETBALL SHOES~~
16.that FCUK for a fortnight tee-$49
17.new birks(madrid), white/green/yellow
~~19.that white giovanna heels-$24~~
~~20.that rainbow belt-$8~~
~~21.that white roxy tee-$35~~
~~22.that noda heels, brown-$33~~
~~23.a black or brown volcom shirt~~
~~24.that white puma belt-$16~~
25.denim skirt
~~26.yellow nike sb(cross back)~~
~~27.that white&purple nike bag-$94~~
28.denim shorts
29.yellow and green fila spag
30.that charles and keith heels
31.more polo tees
32.new pencil case
33.white shorts
34.yellow roxy surf shirt-$55
35.a yellow/brown stussy shirt
~~36.levis, MARISSA bootcut, 27-$139~~
37.~~black/white/~~green topshop shirt-$16
38.black collared long sleeved
39.RITZ APPLE STRUDEL
40.SECRET RECIPE CHOC BANANA CAKE
41.KIT KAT COOKIE DOUGH!
42.that yellow rusty handbag -$23
~~43.that green mango barca tank-$19~~
44.new ripcurl or roxy wallet
45.that white/brown ripcurl skirt-$69
46.that black ripcurl pants-$69
47.that white&purple adidas top-$39
48.that pair of nike socks-$10
49.that green butterfly havaianas-$39
50.that red butterfly havaianas-$29
51.that green mango tee-$25

/cravings
.chocolates
.brownies ; mrs fields
.cookies ; famous amos
.mudpies ; nydc
.ice cream ; gelare, ben&jerry's
.cakes ; secret recipe, nydc
.ritz apple strudel
.secret recipe chocolatebananacake
.KIT KAT COOKIE DOUGH!

I LOVE PRESENTS
THE MORE, THE MERRIER (:

THE MUSTS

~~1. crash kengheng's house!~~
~~2. netball camp!~~
~~3. celebrate leon's birthday~~
~~4. midnight cycling~~; again
5. mahjong marathon
~~6. go to sentosa~~; again
7. pool marathon
~~8. dvd marathon~~; ~~again~~
~~9. 6.1 chalet!~~
10. 2b chalet!
11. 4d chalet!! <3
12. 1a outing!
~~13. NETBALL!~~
~~14. crash leon's house~~; again
15. go shopping with mummy
16. stock up on ice cream and more junk
17. buy birthday presents
18. shopping sprees!
~~19. go to vivo~~
20. bring my granny to the movies!
21. use my books as fuel for bbq
22. essential brew with undergrads!
~~23. buy essentials like barricades~~
~~24. cut my hair~~
25. go out with many many people
26. plan more stayovers
27. psycho mummy to bring me to bangkok
28. LOSE FATS!
29. clubbing
30. get a job
31. pack EVERYTHING
32. bake cookies and brownies
33. cycling at ubin
34. sailing boats with jewel!
35. midnight jogging
~~36. food marathon~~
~~37. fcbc musical~~
~~38. christmas party(family)~~
~~39. christmas bbq~~
~~40. christmas stayover~~

; strike them off

SHOUT OUTS

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FOURDEE 06 ; THE BEST CLASS EVER <3