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today was fine. it was a pretty great day actually. wells. i have totally no mood to blog now.
i have spent eight hours doing the something for you. forsaking my sleep and all. all i hope for is that you will appreciate it and smile. thats all. and i feel so dumb right now. running about, getting all the photos. walking around the whole neighbourhood to find the ink cartridge and all. heyy, im doing so much for you. and you? how are you treating me. you said you will sms me after school. i waited, i did. all th way till i came back to school from town. and i see you, smsing.
i know im too sensitive. i am FREAKING SENSITIVE OKAY. but heyy, i wasnt like that. you didn give me the security i needed. what were you doing when things were so bad between us? did u even do any shit to make things better? NO U DIDN. and u still said "things arent getting any better" i did try, but did you? i lowered myself so much. i never ever took the initiative in my whole life. and for you, i did. i smsed you first, i did this and that. and i felt dumb, when i got all those shit responses from you. you sms seven girls. and when our relationship was on the rocks, that was what you were doing. you sms them and not me. how do u think i felt? would i not feel insecure? would i not be senstive? you placed my feelings elsewhere. you didn ever consider how i would feel.
if you think that im wrong to expect you to come and talk to me when things werent okay. so be it. if no one talks then what, leave it that way? and yah, let it rot? fine if you think it will be better that way. i really wanted to talk to you. but its like sighs, argh forget it.
i feel so much like scolding you. i feel so much like shouting into your face.
"DO YOU THINK I WILL BE SENSITIVE IF I FELT SECURED?"
i guess i was wrong to ask you if you liked me lesser. but i really felt that way. i wanted to clear my doubts. perhaps if i didn ask, we would still be together now.
why dont you open up to people. why dont you talk to the ones around you. its not like you dont have anyone out there for you. you have plenty. just that you choose to keep things to yourself. a third party may help. their advice might have helped.
why do you let what others say bother you so much. its between us anyway. let them say all they want, cant you? its their mouths. they dont even understand what we shared. so do their comments matter? NO. its really stupid to let go and be affected by what others say. its damn stupid. do you think that i dont face criticisms? do you think that i dont face all these dumb comments? i do, and i faced them from a really close friend. it hurt, so damn hell alot. but still, i chose to hold on. i wanted to let go when she was being so mean with her words. but heyy, i felt it was selfish of me. i mean, its between us. why should i let what she say affect me? and yah, she accepted our love. shes a supporter of us now. but look at whats become of us.
perhaps ure immature. perhaps.
elis reminded me of stuff today. i just couldn stop thinking. i was smiling and smiling as i thought back. and yah, the smile's gone from my face now. if i could hold back those tears, i will.
first june to tenth june. those ten days, they were more than perfect.
im really feeling so lost now. i wish you read my blog. i wish you know how im feeling.
hah, im such a fool.
i have planned so much, i am doing so much. all for you, JUST for you.
damn everything. im some dumb shit.
8/14/2006 10:14:00 PM
THE GIRL
fairfield
sixteen
7th august 90
kimberley_yeo@hotmail.com
NETBALLER
wing attack-
centre
fourDEE 06 <3
bottle; ALPHABERTS
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no.2; STFs
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DIAMOND
EATING; SHOPPING
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has a SWEET TOOTH
know more abt me ;
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