Monday, August 28, 2006
why am i crying.
again, yet again.
guess you have moved on.
guess youre really happy now.
and i should be happy for you.
i know i should be.
guess its all fated.
guess we are just meant to be what we are now.
and nothing more.
its so hard to be positive now.
and its been twelve days.
8/28/2006 09:25:00 PM
yeah, i so love today. i so love my class. i so love leon teh. i so love neo jun wei. i so love nicolette sum. i so love tan elis. i so love soh chye aik. i so love PE LESSON TODAY! (:
i tell you. FT makes my pe lessons MISERABLE. yucks. but today fourdee got to play captains ball. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO YAYYYYYYYYYY! (: it was like so super fun, super shiok. 19 or more of us were playing captain's ball. eight were playing badminton and the rest soccer. pe was the WHOO HOOO man. haha it so totally rocked.
BUT, its the last pe lesson )): damnnn. then i was complaining to miss tan that pe cant stop or we will grow fat. haha anyway, good game fourdee. my team won 23-6 ((: triple yays!
alright alright. haha im feeling quite okay. i shall go and disturb other people now. HAHA
OHYAH. i have a new wound on my leg ): ouchh.
and the first real pimple of my life, which soh chye aik calls my virgin pimple, left a WONDERFUL scar on my face. AHH.
have much to say. but i shall listen to what leon said. no more, no more.
hah anyways, i love PERFECT TEN! (:
> and you. i dont know you man. its like if u you wanna play this sunday then go ahead. i just hope that you wont aggravate the condition. take heart.
> NEO JUN WEI` pleaseeeee cheer up. everything will be fine. cliche but true alright? always here for you great great friend. remember our promise? (:
> LEON TEH` aye you sweet stuff. thanks for everything! hah and yah, please be happy always! (: much love. always here for you also alright?
8/28/2006 08:22:00 PM
Sunday, August 27, 2006
MY FOOT
haha in the morning at about 3, was on the phone with clement choy. he was damn funny i tell you. he was like so super high? and he said "whats your PROLEM" haha! and he went off pitch lah. darn hell funny man. haha anyway, yah that 57 minutes chat was enjoyable. had to put down cause my batt was almost flat. haha
then yah chatted online. hes damn retarded. i told him that i will go to his house and meet him at 5am.then i asked for his address and everything. and he told me to tell the cab to turn in at dont know where. then i acted as if i was really going. and he really believed me! HAHAH damn funny. okay, HALF BELIEVED ALRIGHT. if not later someone's gonna accuse me of being a liar.
so yah. we were supposed to have lunch together today. then in the end we were supposed to have breakfast. and i so wanted to whack him this morning. set my alarm at 9. woke up and smsed him. he told me to wait. so yah. i waited. 11plus, i got a phone call. woke up and it was that sucker. "eh, i overslept. i ordered macs alr" WAHLAO i felt like hanging him upside down i tell you. somemore he woke me up and then i couldn go back to sleep lah!
so was thinking about some stuff in bad. ohwells. then woke up and used com. then at 4 plus. i went back to bed. woke up at seven plus. did a chapter of bio (:
and now im on the com. gonna bathe and have my dinner and i'll call my pet dino! haha (:
i just read our dear mousey, leon teh's compo. HAHA DAMN FUNNY. retarded thing.
ZHIYI! perhaps youre on a plane, or at some country to transit, or alr in the states. im sorry that i didn send you all. but heyy, this two years been great. its a joy having you around. knowing you and stuff. dont forget fourdee. cause we wont forget you. do come back and visit us. call us out when you are back alright? im gonna miss you debator. please take tonnes of care. and all the best in the states. much love
PERFECT TEN` i know things arent going great. we are like so close when all of us are together. but there are complications internally. not 'those i hate you, you suck' kind. but yah we all know whats going on. i hope that we can clear things up with those that we have to soon. i hope that by the end of the chalet, we will be a REAL perfect ten. we will be more closely bonded. and yah. everything will be settled. ALL of us will be good friends. alright?
it aint nice seeing the three major problems in the clique now. and yah its heartbreaking as we learn of each other's problems. as we know of the heartache that he or she is going thru.
some of us are closer. we cry together. we share and help each other thru. but yah, its mostly the girls who are doing these. and some guys who share with certain girls. but heyy, i feel that the five of you guys should be more open with each other. helping each other thru and stuff. its a really rough patch for a few of us right now. and yah, i know we can pull thru this together. we really can.
the chalet will give us the opportunities to clear things up. its up to us whether we want to clear things up or not. i feel that we should grab hold of these opportunities. and take the initiative to clear things up.
heyy to the nine of you. i want to let you all know that i really love all of you. every single one of you. to the last bits. really.
PERFECT TEN FOREVER.
8/27/2006 09:53:00 PM
i love them (:
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day one's watch
leon's plaster
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day two's watch
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day three's watch
ahh stupid blogger. dont know why cannot upload anymore. i think the files are tooo big. next time then i upload. that is, if its possible. haha
8/27/2006 03:40:00 PM
then changed and everything. i was late. supposed to meet ken and leon. so the three of us were late. actually everybody was late. just that we were the latest. hah
so walked to cathay from orchard emerald. so far ): ate yami yogurt. tahah so bought tix for LOVEWRECKED. then we had some peel and win cards. we had four. so we got 5 bucks starbucks voucher. 2 ten bucks ben n jerrys voucher and a TWENTY FIVE bucks adidas voucher! yay. so corinne and i got a GREEN bottle each ((: then yah, all of us had ben and jerrys. had 2 merlionster! yummaye! ((:
so yah we were laughing and joking and chattin and playing around in ben and jerrys'. haha it was a great time. ice cream fights and all. one of the spoons landed on another table. no no, it dropped in between this couple holding hands. and the guy looked pissed. haha then aileen came. to plaza sing to buy food. met neo. got our food. rushed back to cathay. we were late, AGAIN. haha sat with kennedy and corinne. nic was such as asshole lah. haha the show was pretty nice.
haha leon! we haven watch the break up! tahah
"how. next year u different school alr" -leon
"yah lor. i know you all wont miss me" -me
"who says"
"i know nobody will miss me ):"
"i will miss you"
HAHA LEON TEH IS SUCH A SWEETHEART. tahah i love you good friend.
yah. so after the movie. we bought starbucks. then everyone went home. yupp.
OH! and yah i went out with PERFECT TEN minus julia plus joel chua that retard. HAHA
just came back home from a short supper with neo. hes damn retarded. cause we were smsing. then he said that he passed guardian. then i was thinking guardian? then i asked him which one then he said next to 7-11. then i HUH, ISNT THAT MY HOUSE HERE. then he YAHH DUHH. then i called him.
"neo, where are you"
"behind you" -neo
"huh, behind me is errr a wall?"
"beside you"
"err, a table and a chair"
"take five steps front and turn left"
"huh, thats my alter"
"HUHHH"
"aiyoh, im at home!"
"HUH. no wonder"
hahaha he thought that i was downstairs alr. haha was on the phone with dino then went for supper. so yah, it was short. but it was a time of crapping and stuff. usual lah huh. what else can u say to neo besides rubbish? HAHAHAH. hah so his mum called and he had to go
"u didn tell your mum u going for supper?"
"never"
"then what you tell her"
"i told her that im going to buy drink"
"HAHA. u walk two bus stops to buy drink ah"
"i told her im going for a workout"
"workout?" -looks at neo's SLIPPERS
"alright, i know its inappropriate"
haha that retard. so yah we went home with his mum called again. and i was like
"eh, got bus"
"is that 334?"
"dont know. u go see lah"
walk a few steps ahead. the bus zoomed off. turned around and show me the dots face. HAHA it was 334. poor thing.
yah. so i had pretty much fun today. i saw this really cute black cat with white paws. the paws are so pretty. haha
coringlish dictionary-
"thanks for accompanying me" -aileen
"eh, i recommended it okay" -corinne
"HUH. recommended? suggested lah!"
HAHAHHAHA thats our dear corinne once again!
smsed prince charming today (: lalala
i loveS PERFECT TEN!!
hahaha
> was just reminiscing. thinking about the happy times (:
about your reaction when i told u that i was going china over the phone. hah your reaction was so damn funny. "HUH. OHSHIT. HOW LONG" you were saying that you dont want me to go and stuff. hah you sweetshit. saying you shouldn be selfish and all, and that i should go. hah i didn go in the end. and i didn regret (:
and you, stupid thing. forever so lazy. so darn lazy lah you. style hair also lazy. haha then when i asked u to style, u just spray some hairspray on ur wet hair, and u had a bad hair day. but well, you look good to me always.
tahah. i'll always take the bus first and then you will board. you will give me the stupid smile everytime you sit down next to me. hah. i miss that smile. i miss those bus rides. laughing at other people. talking rubbish and all.
i miss that whiny face when i accidentally scratched you. i remember that day, you were so darn good looking. i dont know why. i stared into your eyes and i got lost. it was so dumb lah. u said sth to me and i took quite long to reply. my brain couldn process. you were that good looking that day. i mean more good looking than other days. hah.
i miss those kiddy giggles when i tickle you, when i squeeze your biceps. you would squirm and try to move away from me. hah. youre real cute.
i couldnt stop smiling when i think of the lil lil sweet actions that you surprised me with. hah youre really adorable. you always leave me smiling like an idiot on the bus. hah.
i miss those sweet lines with a lil tinge of sadness when we have to part. sensing that unwillingness makes me smile. cause it tells me that you want to be with me. haha.
i miss those immediate smses right after we part. telling each other how much we were missing each other and talking about the day spent together.
i miss those jacking-each-other sessions. calling each other jinx and stuff. me trying to act angry with you and all. those movies. dinners. haha sweet stuff.
i miss those phone calls. the three hour plus long chat with numerous breaks in between cause of your mum. i miss your kiddy voice over the phone. i miss your laughter over the phone. i miss you telling me about your day and stuff. i miss the times when we sms day and night. i miss the times when i would go to bed with a wide smile on my face. i miss those times when i would fall asleep while reading all the sweet smses for the day. i miss those times when i would drift to dreamland with a melting heart. i miss those weekly outings. i miss those stupid disturbing-each-other times. i miss the sweet old you.
alright, this post sounds so eew. hahaha. ohwells. i just feel like bloggin those stuff. i miss the past so much. happy times i shall think about. and heyy, i miss you.
youre someone whom i really treasure, whom i really want, whom i never ever wanted to lose
i miss the sweet old us-
8/27/2006 01:41:00 AM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
ohwells. so i didn blog about ytd. so i shall start.
thursday
english was up first. mund choo didn come ): so yah. menglinn and i chatted like mad. haha 90minutes. and i tell you. from now onwards, for every vulgarity that he says, he owes me 10cents (:
three periods of chem next. did some gce o's paper. aye i was so happy lah. i got 30/35. minusing the macromolecules questions. cause i didn know anyshit and miss liang asked me to use textbook. heh. haha. i so love MISS LIANG. i so love CHEM (:
recess was pretty alright. i was kinda upset. then ss was next. was thinking alot alot alot. boring shit. i slept. tahah.
> something brought me down. and yah i was just suddenly affected and all. but after some thinking thru. yah, i pretty much got back on my feet once again. im becoming stronger i feel. theres more things for me to be happy about. alot more. we used to sms day and night. till our bills shot up to dont know where. and then in july, we smsed lesser and lesser and eventually, it stopped. im sad. i am. even when your bill was sky high, we still smsed like crazy. you know i really want to sms you so much. but i told myself that i wont. i really wish you'll start. but well. you said you have to save sms. and yah, we didn sms. for so long alr. since like last wednesday? if im not wrong. ohwells. i kinda miss you. but well. i know you wont sms me. ohwells. i shouldn tbe caring. i shouldnt be bothered but i just am affected. rmb we said that we can build things up again, we can try. indeed we are building up sth, a wall. i was wrong to have thought that theres a chance of revival. i led myself on. yah good friends huh. and yah, good friends then was smsing day and night, talking on the phone and stuff. good friends now is hello, byebye. sometimes im affected sometimes im not. why am i affected this time round? damn.
i musnt care anymore. friends we shall be. acquaintances or whatever platonic.
thinking of everything that had happened made me feel as if i should turn to you. but i dont mean it that way. you will be my good friend, always. thats it.
i never thought that i'll survive without you. "ill really die without you lah ):" thats what i always wanted to say back to you. but did i ever say that to you? i cant remember. i never thought that we will end up this way. i thought that i'll just die without you, without smsing you and stuff. but heyy, im getting on pretty alright. perhaps what elis said is true. "you have grown up" it hadn been easy. but definitely easier than i thought. im not going to feel bad anymore. whatever that had happened is enough to make up for the hurt that i caused. we are quits.
i thought of throwing away everything. deleting the smses, msn convs, tearing up the letter, throwing away that present, tearing up that book and going for a brain wash. but something held me back. it whispered "memories. they are for keep"
i wish you will talk to me. really.
-
sooooooooo lit was mad mad fun. much laughing and stuff. oh my, i was so duper happy i tell you. hahah (((: ian chang is a super idiot. what paper can kill you. my foot. haha. retarded thing. and sherm wrote this letter to nkf. super funny i tell you. i laughed like shit lah. haha
so after lit was fairsian connect. dricee was so childish. both of us were fighting again, with leaves. tahah. slept in the hall. and then i dreamt.
after school. yah. our darling corinne actually wrote "i loveS you" how great coringlish is huh. haha. to dover for lunch. someone special is damnnnnnnit pretty (:
so yah. slacked around. talked to yeeleen. shes super retarded. she deleted her spastic photo from me phone lah! haha, did some work. i got upset by some stuff. HMMPH. thank you kennedy for being there. leon also. yupp. so we played captains ball. quite fun. corinne fell on her ass. hah damn funny.
so then yah. was really quite upset. was on the phone and all. ahh damn.
bussed home with neo. yah. i was about to tear. when i relate him to you. that similarity. i cried. flashbacks ran thru my mind. i read thru the smses. and i cried like worse than a baby. i think neo got a shock. he was sitting in front of me. then he smsed me. i was crying like some dumb shit lah. listening to blind, reading those smses, thinking about the past. it finally brought tears. im doing the same thing everyday, but i didn cry for the last few days. but today. i cried, so much. and thats when i realised that, i have been suppressing my emotions. ahh damnit. sat downstairs and talked to nic on the phone. finally went home at around nine, looking like a goldfish.
my eyes were hell tired. crying with contacts sucks man. and yah. i was watching tv with gran in uncle's room. then i fell asleep straight. so yah. one of the really rare nights that i slept before ten.
FRIDAY
chem pract was first. i broke a test tube. the first ever in my whole life. haha and that freaking powder is dont know what man. so hard to clean off. tahah then my smart lab partner, yip yunxing broke a test tube also. then my dinosaur broke one. then either ian or sister goh broke another one. haha test tube breaking day! i drew a new watch again. haha missliang "u very poor isit? no money buy watch. children's day i buy you one" hahaha
so yah. i cleaned the floor and stuff. then lit was quite okay. elis didn come. so i sat with esmonde. i got pissed off with him. ohwells. so yah. bullshitted here and there.
ss was sucky. hah boring shit. but mund choo makes every ss lesson fun! haha.
recess was alright. we ate ALOT. haha. then it was math. 3/4 of the class was late. so all of us stood outside. it was darn hot. then went into class. had to stand behind and stuff. then yah bio was next. boring shit. i slept lah. then suddenly wenyao kicked my chair and woke me up then "huh what u want?" -me
"you know what time alr?"-yao
"4.50." -looks at my watch. HAHA
"2.15 alr"
"oh really. yay"
"you sleep almost the whole bio lesson lah. 45minutes. basket"
"he dont scold me wan what"
"yah i know, you forever also sleeping"
haha crazy tard. so yah. zhiyi came back to school today. that ass is leaving on sunday. NOOOOO ): after school. slacked around in the canteen. we ate, slept and did rubbish. hah aileen and i played some bench jumping game. we saw stingray. so we shouted then he started walking darn fast away. then i shouted"NIC RUN!" then stngray got shocked, looked at us and ran away. hah super funny. so yah. took some videos of nic and aileen fighting. it was super funny. haha changed, played monkey with johnson blah blah. then played captains ball. with the ncc seniors and bb boys. hah mad mad fun! (:
but had to leave very soon ): haha but it was fun. and the sec three ncc boys were dismissed so darn late lah. hah retarded man.
to dover for some quick bites. then bussed home with neo and shah. stupid jarold lim, im not black okay. you colour blind shit.
shouted I HATE NEO JUN WEI damn loudly in the parade sq before capt ball. and he posed "im a super model" hahah retarded man!
shouted i hate neo junwei again at the bus stop. then he was standing very far away from me. then suddenly he came over and gave the "NEO"S SMILE" haha damn funny. then he kept saying sorry. haha then that asscrack was damn funny. i didn want to forgive him. but he made me laugh a lot of times lah. idiotic shit. haha. he kept giving me the retarded smile. and he spoke in a german accent. haha damn funny. and i have two new videos of him in my phone. collection man. haha "i treat you supper?" haha that retard. we were talking thru shah.
"help me ask that asshole what time is his tuition" - me
blah blah
"did u hear"- shah
"nope i didnt"
"he has to be in school by 7 , until 9.30"
"9 you mean, and its am" -neo
"fine, 9am"
"hello, im here"
"oh sorry i didn know you were there"
"oh okay nvm nvm." flashes that retarded face and waves. HAHA
tahah. so yah. home now. chatting with 5 ppl in a conv was fun. haha retarded. i haven bathe. ohno i better go now. tahaha. going out with the perfect ten and joel tmr (: it will be fun. i hope, no i mean of course it will be!
and im the dumbest thing ever. prelims coming so soon. and i thought that we will still have a week of lesson before the rest of the papers commence. im so wrong damnit. ahh darn, im left with no time. i need time. damnit. i haven touch a single shit at all. im so dead. ohwells.
> you were so duper sweet just now. wells. im kinda messed up right now. hope things will be alright between us.
/ahh im contradicting myself again. now i wish i can have you back. yet again. ahh im such a piece of shit.
`neo and leon teh. thanks for being there for me
> DINO! thanks for all the phone calls, smses and all th shit. ahh ure such a damn good friend! haha idiot. thanks or always being there alright.
HELLO PRINCE CHARMIN'! (:
> youre super charming! haha
/if i had a choice, i wouldnt have let this happen-
if i can turn back time, i will make sure im much nicer
if i can have a second chance, i will love you with all i have
if you will love me again, i wont ever let you go
if we can be us again, i will cherish you for sure
if we give ourselves another try, i promise it will work out right
> so much for positive thoughts
8/26/2006 01:05:00 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
school was pretty fine. took train today. hah. so first lesson was chinese. but i dont take chinese now soooo it was math for me. i wasted that half an hour away. haha i just kept going to the toilet. and doing rubbish. then atfter that was 90 minutes of math. ahh i hate it. so i was thinking and chatting. and yah i have all these to say
im always contradicting myself. when i think abou the past, i feel so scared. im scared that you dont like me anymore. and i think that you dont anymore. ohwell. i'll think about how long have we not sms and stuff, and yah my fears are furthermore confirmed. there will be this sad feeling welling up in me. and i dont like it. im so sure that this time its really the end.
when i think about the present. i always think about how im gonna be friends with you. its weird isnt it. im weird, i am. i want so much to be good friends with you now. and yet i cant lay down the past. i want so much to be us again deep down. im so okay now, alright and everything. happy and all, but when i think back. damn, i miss us so much. and i will give everything for you and i. i told myself to be friends with you, and heyy my heart agreed. this is what i want. but i cant seem to be firm in my decision. im always drifting away from it.
i say that im moving on and i am. i really am. but just why, i just cant put down the past. knowing more and more things these few days made me feel so guilty. now i know you really cared, you really loved. and im so sorry. im so wrong, so bad, so evil and all. and yes, you deserve better. someone much better. sighs.
i said hi to you today. twice. it felt alright. it was quite normal. you smiled and stuff, i no longer feel that kinda fast heartbeat or anything anymore. im treating you as a friend now. but the past, it is holding me back. thats how much you mean to me. you mean so much, so darn much to me. i suddenly wish that you will sms me. argh whats wrong with me, im contradicting myself. non stop. its like really great and fine being friends. and i have chosen this path. but at times, i want more. ahh im feeling so weird. my feelings are clashing.
why cant i be firm in what i want. why do i let myself waver time and again. i kept falling back and then i have to tell myself all over again that its this that i want. perhaps im deceiving myself. perhaps im forcing myself. but i think its the best way out. why do i keep thinking otherwise. ahh. i told myself that i wont start a conv or sms. and yah, these few days, everything was pretty alright. we didn talk and stuff. but actually i realise that deep inside, i want to talk to you alot. and i wish, i really wish that you will sms me. man, any idea how happy i'll be? but well. whether im happy or not is not of your concern any longer.
i dont feel like saying hi again.
will you initiate?
ohwells, every post contains some emo shit. wells, just received a phone call. hmm weird. mann, what am i supposed to do now. i feel so weird. weird weird weird.
anyway, im real sorry alright. all the stuff that i got to know over these few days, all the msn conv i read. all the smses, that letter, my posts. what i wrote in a book about times with you. man, im sorry i doubted you. im sorry. you know why i couldnt trust, you know why i couldnt love you like how i loved him. im truly sorry. its too late to say all these, i know that. but.. wells. thanks for being so understanding, so sweet and everything alright. i was so bad. i insisted that you didnt care about me and stuff. i know you did now. i know. and yah, too late. alls too late. im sorry. real sorry alright? im regretting like shit, but what can i do. nothings gonna change. we will just stay this way. you deserve to be happy, to be with someone much better. i cant match up to you. im not good enough for you. im sorry.
i want another chance. i want to make things alright, i want to make things better than before. i want us. if i had just one more chance. i promise, i wont let you go. i wont push you away again. i will cherish us with all that i have. i wont be bad anymore.
mann, i think i need to drown myself. thats not possible. i gotta wake up.
that song just makes me want to cry even more, but i promised i wont cry.
dont cry cause its over, smile because it happened.
im happy, cause of what happened. cause of us. cause of the past. and what happened never, never fails to bring a smile.
alright. stop stop. shall continue with my post. so elis was telling me her story and stuff. well, hope everything's alright man. dric was using elis's correction tape. and he spoilt it. he tried to fix it but he couldnt. so he showed th stupid face and insisted that he didn spoil it. hah it was darn funny. so yah we destroyed the whole thing. i coiled the tape around my finger. and pasted the plaster which aaron gave to me on it. and i told everyone i had a deep cut. haha
colin was like "woah, cut ah. okay lor"
esmonde was like " ohh. okay"
chye aik was "huh what happened to you"
dricee was the funniest.
"what happened?" -dric
"cut lor" - me
"how you cut yourself"
"knife lor"
"eh, does this look familiar?" pointing to the tape and the tape on my finger - elis
"eh, yah huh. why? you got cut by correction tape ah? how smart"
"HAHAHAHAHHAHA"
"eh, you bluff wan right"
"HAHAHAHHAHAHA"
"throw away the correction tape"
"why throw. so waste"
"then you tell me what can i do with it"
"throw around lah" throws up and catches it "wooo" "wooo"
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
hmm. bio was up next. i wonder what i was doing. so much stuff were clogging up my brain.
recess was fine. after that was chinese. so we went to learnatfairfield. i really didn talk to kengheng since the start of the week. hmph ): wells
dricee burped. then he "oh sounds like an orchestra, someone continue please"
so ian burped
"im not going to partake" -norman
"why, cause you no air right!"
"cedric doesnt have the lit paper" -ian
"what lit paper. i dont want"
"take for him"
"ahh, what lit, toilet paper ah"
haha those three idiots.
so english was next. chatted with mund and menglinn as usual. haha i drew a WATCH on my wrist there. NICE OKAY! green and yellow. the hands are on the numbers 1 and 6. so its 6.05. haha. i like lah. nice okay. haha then mund went "eh, i thought no self branding? she brand us with her name somemore" HAHAHAH that idiot.
so after school. had lunch. then yah. talked to leon. waited for neo to come down. then after that, i went to learnatfairfield to find chye aik. haha then left at 3 plus. supposed to go with neo leon and jarold to watch match wan lah. then in the end they didn want to go. so yah lor. haha cabbed down with xuening and nic.
OHYAH. and i so want to kill xuening! i went to the cca block toilet to find them. so i signalled and mouth "IS NIC INSIDE?" haha the shower room. so she nodded. then i turned the hose up and pressed. and guess what, the person inside WASNT nic! OMGOMGOMOGMOGMOGM then i kept saying sorry and waited for the lady to come out. i apologised damn alot of times. no wonder i didn hear nic screaming. hah
so yah. i had to umpire the cdiv's match. anyway, good play there you guys. you all can go far. much much more hard work and effort are needed. so yah, you guys can do it alright. theres the potential but yah, start training hard on your basics and yah, skills wise, you all can make it. so yupp. work hard people (:
so the bdiv won. yay! haha.
andddddddddd. i saw this girl. shes call abby or sth? shes damn good and damn cute. and she smiled and said "THANK YOU" to me. HAHAHA. my heart melted. hah crazy. i just think that shes real cute. i wanted to take photo with her lah. but their debrief so long. nvm tmr morning i will go mgs. sit outside from six until i see her. HAHAHA kidding
so nic cor ail and i walked all the way to ritz apple strudel. DAMN FAR LAH. i nearly died.
my number 2 most hated thing : TO WALK, esp with a bag or any load
ohyah! and the juniors, th cdiv. theyre damn damn cute lah. they shouted "GOOD AFTERNOON SENIOR KIMBERLEY" and "THANK YOU SENIOR KIMBERLEY" damn loudly. haha then i got shocked lah. both times. haha theyre so cute. especially....... (:
so yah, apple strudel was yummaye. so cabbed back to school for nic and cor's bags. then yah all the guys were in school still. yah so we chatted for a short while at the bus stop. they are damn idiotic lah. haha
so bussed home with neo and shaun. neo was damn funny, as usual. he has a memory span of a goldfish. THREE SECONDS. haha then he was whistling some weird tune, that sounded quite familiar. he saw my cut
"what happened?" -neo
"cut lah" -me
"how come"
"i was playing with a knife"
"HUH dont tell me u tried to slit your wrist"
"HAHA no lah. i was playing with it"
"i show you" took out the plaster and tape then i swung it around.
"fake wan?"
"fake wan? fake wan? X 15"
"yah lah!"
"ugh. i feel like throwing my pe shirt at you"
HAHA DAMN FUNNY LAH. and he bites his pe shirt -_-"
so now im home. i bought another apple strudel. eating it now. yay yay. my birthday present for myself. ohyah! i have yet to thank the ppl for their presents. haha sorry ah. next post next post. when i got the time okay. i didn even use any present yet. all the chocs and everything also nv eat. haha i think i better arrange them and use them soon. haha thanks to all those who gave me presents yah? (:
> hmm clement choy. please dont be pissed alr okay. hope you can get the folio back. dont worry alright? (: cheer up.
"i hope we can be together forever! (:"
the smses, they are so sweet. im sure anyone's heart will melt if they read them. so sweet. the past, is so sweet. and perhaps thats why i cant lay it down. i smile at every thought of the past. and when i snap back to reality, i realised that i have lost you. i dont feel sorry for myself. cause i know im the one who caused all these. if only i can turn back time. if only i can be as nice to you as you were to me. if only i cherished us as much as you did. if only i want us as badly as you did. if only i didn let my past haunt me. if only i loved you wholeheartedly then. if only i believed that you care. if only i was as firm in our love as you were. if only im not weird. if only i understood then. if only.. the list goes on and on. if only.
you were really so sweet. the sweetest i have had. i really treated you very badly last time. thanks for being so nice and sweet despite me being such an arsehole yah.
im engulfed, by the memories and sweetness. im lost in the world of you and i.
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
ohwells. sighs. gonna go off now. have a phone call to make.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVAN! i love you!
8/23/2006 10:03:00 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
ohyes. i havent said why leon teh was such a sweetheart! friday morning we were smsing. so i told him that i had a hole in my throat. haha as in sore throat lah, i was just crapping. then he asked me to drink more water. then i said that i didn bring my bottle. so he asked me to buy from the canteen and i said i was lazy. so yah, during lit, the stfs were all outside discussing about the musical and stuff. then some idiot walked past and whack me. i felt that it was leon so i just shouted leon teh. then he turned around and smile at me. so yah, he went to the canteen. after a while he came back. then i was talking talking, then he hit me with a mineral water bottle. then i HUH? then i OH! then i was so touched lah. then i kept thanking him. ohman, he bought water for me lah. haha
yah, so i drank alot (: and i kept the bottle. haha thank you mousey (: ure such a sweetheart!
hmm yah. sunday night. i went to supper with neo! haha darn funny lah. he came over to my house here. so we walked around. cause we wanted to eat prata. and yea. finally we had our pratas and milo dino. haha chattin with that ass is fun. i have much to talk to him about. yah, and hes so darn funny. i kept laughing lah. laugh and laugh like mad man. tahah. so yupp. neo is a happy boy now. and im happy for him! (: haha i love you great great friend. you retarded kid. more suppers okay! (: haha idiotic thing. we went to seven eleven to find hairband -_-" haha yah. then we bought some junk food. haha then yah we both went home. his chinese worksheet is stained with CURRY and MILO POWDER. haha lets see what mr pang will say to him (: HAHA anyway, yah supper was awesome. great fun. tahah
MONDAY
so first was math. ohyah. i was so so so tired. i slept in every single class lah. haha chye aik said that i slept like a dead corpse. -_-" it was hell boring. and i had to rush about to borrow work from four e in the morning to cover up. tahah
hmm pe was next. had softball AGAIN. and i tel you, this time we used the real SOFTball. soft MY FOOT. bluff ppl wan lah. so yah we were playing. then mel was chasing after me to strike me out. then yah i was ahead of her. so she struck me. and then i reached home. but i wasnt out. cause she struck my ARM. ure supposed to hit the lower body. hah so i got a homerun (: ten points. heh. but thennnn, my arm had a red patch and it was numbed ): haha.
recess was alright. i got a shock lah. lissa choo u arsehole. then i fell backwards, then i hurriedly grabbed the table then my thumb now so painful. cannot hold pen properly. haha but nvm, its alright.
ss was next. boring shit. got back our first test paper. haha he marks SO FAST man. yah i didn fail! (: i got... six. JUST PASS. better than fail lah okay. haha so yah. then chatted with mund choo and stuff. and slept for awhile.
math was next. boring stuff. hah i slept a whole load. and i had to stand for not doing my work. and as i said, I HATE TO STAND. hmph.
chem was okay. miss liang didn come. so we were doing some worksheet. and discussing about teachers' day. hah. yay the whole class's performin! (: yay yay yay. with our RUBBER BAND of course! haha
ohyes, thank you dino for carrying my bag okay. haha i was so damn tired. i think i really was a zombie. tahah.
so life skills was next. an hour long chatting session with my pet dinosaur. haha laughed and laughed. he told me some stupid jokes lah. damnit. so damn lame. haha. and yah, talked and talked (: tahah. OHYAH! and i tripped cedric goh! then when he was about to sit down, i pulled his chair away. but his flat ass managed to sit on the chair at the edge. DAMN. haha
after school. had lunch. then yah. supposed to go to holland with chye aik. but in the end, we went to the audi to watch rubber band rehearse. haha. yah. so after that, i went home with neo and wesley. thank you neo junwei for helping me buy my crunch and lemon tea. haha and dricee, i hope u dont fall sick. idiot.
TODAY
i woke up late. but i was on time. so yah. the freaking bus didn come. so at 6.45 i decided that i want to take cab. then there were these two other fairsians at the bus stop. so i asked them to share cab. hah we called a cab. then yah. then cab fare was 13.60 and in then end, we reached school at like 7.22?! DAMNIT. but thank god dont have to do detention lah. hah. ohyah, i must contact the guy to return him the cab fare.
hmm yea. chapel was alright. haha it was a mad chatting session lah. i dont know why i was like so mad. i kept saying rubbish -_-" tahah. hmm yah. so math was next. had to borrow work to cover up again. anyway, math is so boring lah. but i didn sleep today. hah. chatted alott.
ohyah! joash switched pencil with me. i like me pencil alot! so pretty! green green green! (: haha thank you sucker. haha
english was alright. sat in between mund and menglinn today. haha damn crazy lah the three of us. whole lesson talking rubbish. mund and i were analysing some stuff. HAHA super stupid. and menglinn was talking to me about some gay. TAHAH. hes damnit GROSS.
recess was alright. it was damn funny lah. chye aik and i laughed like crap. cause he was helping me buy food. then after that. aiyah. its confusing but its damn funny. so i shall cut it short. its about a pair of fork and spoon. HAHA alright. it was dman funny at that point lah. haha
bio pract was alright. i slept when chan chan was going thru the paper. ahh im in a major sleep debt. hmm chem was next. nothing much. just another chatting session and all. haha. ohyah, i was vandalising elis's diary. and i wrote all the phrases and words i like to say. damn alot man. i miss out "NEVER!" hahah!
math again. haha chye aik wanted to beat dricee up or sth lah. then they were running about in class. u should have seen dric and his rubbish. haha damn funny. i was like "dinosaur, can u dont bully my sister?" then when dricee was sitting down, i pulled his chair away! haha he really nearly fell but he quickly grab hold of the chair. then he was like shocked then he "people skilled right" HAHA SUPER RETARDED LAH. then colin pulled out his shirt. then he was slowly tucking them in but his back was facing miss yeo. so miss yeo scolded him "COLIN SEOW! what are u doing?!" then colin turned around and HUH?! haha damn funny. then dric was like "ahh, colin gangster! im scared. send him out!"
haha then i wanted to write sth on dric's hand. haha i wrote "kim was here, 22nd august" on menglinn's and "youre my best friend, love kim" on mund's. haha then i wrote "uncle lee" on colin's. ohyah. and i wrote "be happy, love kim" on esmonde's. haha. elis refused to let me write.haha ohyah. then dric was like NO NO NO NO NO. then i please please please. then he "five dollars" then he grinned at me. then i "NO WAY!" then he "for one letter" HAHAH RETARDED LAH! so i poke his neck. haha damn funny. with the marker. and its black. then i drew a line on his arm. then..
"eh lend me ur marker" -dricee
"no, im selfish" -me
"im also selfish"
"yah i learn from u wan what"
"eh lend lah"
"no, dont want"
then he tried to snatch. haha THEN, when he turned back to face front. i put my marker beside his face and said "DRIC" so that smartass turned and poke* (: HAHA
it was SUPER FUNNY. the 6 of us laughed like crap. eh no, evan, es, colin, kengheng, elis, chye aik and himself. haha plus me, eight. HAHA. then he went to rub it, then it smudged. then he "U GO AND DIE" haha super funny man. then he "LAUGH WHAT LAUGH" to colin and evan. hah that super tard. darn darn funny man.
so after school. let elis hear the song. then dricee bugged me to send it to him. so yah. went for lunch. then for some filming thing. and then to the audi for rehearsal. aye coach tan jiayi! u can sing what! (: dont worry alright.
so then after that. went back with corinne. haha im happy. cause shes happy. YAY (: haha. nic went off to town. aileen had home econs. and julia had some dont know what. haha she was playing with a clinometer.
so yah. im home now. im supposed to sleep. heh, but i love my computer! haha
> i looked you in the eye twice today. both times, i turned away. i dont have the courage to wave esp when "i am so bad" flashes into my mind. ohwells.
ohyah. was thinking about some stuff on the way home. the tenth of every month since i know you is so -_-"
tenth of march` i was down. from dont know what also. just was feeling downnnn.
tenth of april` the confession (:
tenth of may` it was a really nice day. i was happy (:
tenth of june` i tried to
tenth of july` i asked if you like me lesser, and yes you do.
tenth of august` the break up, the end.
HMM ohwells
alright, im supposed to be happy. so yes (:
its been quite a long time since we last smsed and stuff. but ohwell. hah
and to this girl, aiyah. stop staring lah. we are not together alr okay. you want him you go lah. whos stopping you. but ure damn what okay. how can u tell another guy that you love him when you like him? its like youre so freaking desperate. you cant get him and you go for another one.
its damn freaking what man. youre such a ..... i just hope that you wont hurt him. hes my friend, a good one last time. so please. if you want him, then be faithful. if you want him still, then slowly try to get him.
please dont hurt him.
you stare somemore. i wish your eyeballs will drop out, and then you will step on them. alright, just kidding.
and to you, i cant believe that ure actually such an arsehole. you tried to lead me into giving you the response that you wanted. you think if that happens, it means that youre popular huh? and then when i gave you some plain and platonic responses consecutively over a few days, you stopped smsing me. i mean what the hell. whats your problem man. anyway, your plan to lead me to being some dumb ass failed . well done. if you ever sms me again, i WONT reply. and now ure after another girl. wow, why am i not surprised huh? no one can keep count of the girls you went after. time for goodbye, asshole.
okay, my blog has so many `yous that i dont think anyone knows who im referring to. hah
> im still so sorry, to you
part of me died when i let you go-
8/22/2006 06:03:00 PM
not really feeling good right now. i feel so bad. so so so bad. im such a sucker alright. i cant believe that i was so bad. damnit. and yah. knowing some stuff just struck me even harder, that i was so freaking bad.
im so reluctant to let go. so so reluctant. i feel guilty. darn guilty.
i finally understood. but alls too late. and im so darn sorry. but i know theres no turning back. i know that things are just gonna be like how they are now.
and hopefully, things will get better.
im really so sorry. i really want you to know that im super sorry.
i know whatever i say now wont make a difference to anything. but i just want to let you know that im sorry, real sorry for being so bad. so i dont blame you for treating me like that now. i brought it upon myself. i was the one who made things bad. ugh, sorry alright.
suddenly, i want us back so much. i really miss us, alot.
when i know about that, i cried. i realised how much i have hurt you in the past. im sorry.
sorry seems so useless and pointless i know. but thats all i have got to say to you now.
sorry.
that song is my favourite now.
and im the one whos meaning the lyrics this time round.
8/22/2006 12:50:00 AM
Monday, August 21, 2006
okay so i shall just type certain stuff since i want to sleep soon.
/you are so different to me in and outside of school. you can sms me and call me and all those. but in school. ure so cold to me. u dont even say hi. you walk away when you see me. its so weird lah. i mean, what are you trying to show me man. darnn. i dont even know if i should say hi to you nowadays lah.
> it took me some courage to wave at you today. and it was nice to see you wave back. but, i felt nothing. i didn feel anything. whats wrong with me. perhaps im just too tired. ohmy ohmy. whats wrong with me.
`looking at you today brought back so much from the past. and damn, im missing you again. oh no. damnit.
alright. shall blog in detail tmr night. darn com. you suck.
and i really think that im spoilt. as in i need repair. ohno.
im still feeling so darn sorry. ugh.
8/21/2006 11:44:00 PM
Sunday, August 20, 2006
it was just another mad chatting session last night with joel. clement called at like 4 in the morning? if i was asleep i would have punched his face. haha joel and i chatted al the way till about five? i logged out at 5.10. and i decided to nap for 30minutes (: and then i can get up and go to kallang! so i decided to sleep in the living room. and the smart me woke up at 7.20!?!? supposed to reach kallang at 7.15 lah. so i rushed like some mad person. and cabbed down to kallang. reached before eight. cab fare FIFTEEN BUCKS. ouch heart pain man.
and the worst thing was that "kim, we only need to register at 10" AHH i tell you. my heart just piang. my fifteen bucks. hah
hmm so yah. i was so damn tired. had macs for breakfast.
finally the clock struck ten. got ready and stuff. alright. shant go into details about what happened lah huh. just that its really so damn dumb. fairfield has nv been kicked out of a carnival in the first round know. and today we lost 5 out of six. of which we could have won at least four? ohwells. its quite a big blow aye.
and i was sooooooooo super pissed off with that damnnnnnnnnn bloody UGHHH. whats her damn problem. ATTITUDE US FOR WHAT. BIG AH?! u think u cannot shoot u very big isit? cannot shoot still purposely dont want go practise. how many freaking shots u missed man? and u were like the old you, not going for rebounds and all. just seeing the ball go and a smile will appear on your face. has it ever occurred that the midfielders and defenders have to work darn hard to bring the ball down? and you miss the shot? and it becomes a turnover? think about us lah. we ran so much. and you? you play every single quarter the distance u run also cannot cover the distance we run in just a single quarter alright. ahh im so darnit pissed off. still sms me some shit in the morning. thats why i didn reply you. damn. ahhh freaking pissed off man. i hate that freaking face. tell me you worked as hard as us and i'll let it go.
alright, enough. we are just gonna IGNORE her. damnit.
alright. so i was sleeping. i was so damnit tired. i slept whenever i have the chance to. and i was sleeping. suddenly mel woke me up and threw me the bib. then i huh? then i "siao lah. i just woke up" HAHA damn funny. i also dont know why. i said it damn loudly somemore lah. then i was darn blur. wore my bib and went on court. so paiseh. haha
so after everything. changed and all. then off to lunch. kfc was so crowded and stuffy. so monkey jia and i went over to macs. senior jocelyn came over to join us. ahh those girls in front of us bought so much. and we had to wait in queue for so long. i wanted to throw my shoes at them man. hah.
OHYES! AND I SOOOOOO HATE EXTREMES. bunch of ARROGANT assholes. its like we were playing rojak can? i was like playing goal attack? yujia goal keeper? darn rojak lah. we just played for fun. then the freaking gorilla went "OH, STEADY BOM BEEP BEEP" smack you ah.if we really played properly we wouldnt lose by so much at least. what a sucker. I HATE THAT DUMB THING. freaking gorilla, YOU STINK.
ahh anyway. lunch was fine. i had macs again. AGAIN. -_-" twice in a day. i feel those fats. EEW. anyway. xinyi wanted to go to the beach. as in she asked if we wanted go somewhere to relax and sort out our thoughts. so we decided to go to the beach. haha in the end, we ended up at home. we were far too tired. ahh im so damn tired. haha
alright. i must hurry blog finish then im going to bed. haha perhaps i will sleep till tmr? HAHA.
ohyah! im supposed to blog about friday!
FRIDAY
ohh. friday. hmm chem pract was first. miss liang wasnt around. so yah. it was like a free period. auntie ho was being such a pain in the ass.
hmm. then lit was next! YAY. haha lit was fun for the FIRST TIME! miss hia wasnt around. so there was this teacher who came. he was dressed in this BRIGHT BLUE COLLARED TEE. with DRAGON, FIRE AND ROCK. haha dam ah beng lah!.
"good morning class, my name is james. and sirname is tan. you can call me james or mr tan"
"hello james"
"alright, u al can choose to do your work or chit chat"
"chit chat!"
he wrote singapore idol on the board and discussed about it. haha and i got jacked like shit lah! damnit man. they kept saying i like him?! ahh haha.
mrs low was outside. and we were kinda noisy. so i told the class that mrs low was outside. james peeped outside. and said "I DONT GIVE A DAMN" and walked back to the table. "FOR THE REASON THAT THIS CLASS IS AIR CONDITIONED AND THEY CANT HEAR US OUTSIDE" hahaha can hear wan lah! hes damn funny man. then mrs low opened the door. he got a shock
"is everything okay?"
"SURE! everything is going fine. i just assigned them some work to do"
haha damn funny. you should have seen his expression lah! then he told us some story. haha and we kept describing miss hia. MISS HIA SO CUTE. hahaha. then we were saying later u get sack ah. then he "nvm its okay. they wont be able to sack me after today" haha cause it was his last day in fairfield. he seriously doesn look like he can teach lit. haha and he thought that penguin is married!
"mary is a horrible name. oops. anyone named mary here?"
"NO! but martha has a twin named mary!"
"oh no, can you please dont tell her what i said? or you can tell her on monday."
the bell rang. colin seow went "ONE DOWN! two more to go!" haha two more periods he meant. james said that he will release us at 9.45 to go for recess. darn funny lah. our lesson ends at 10.15 know.
then he read us a poem. he said that colin cant read the poem. but i think hes worse. colin reads well okay! HAHA in a weird way.
"read the first stanza"
"whats a stanza?"
colin, reading reading..
"i dont know if this guy's dead. but if he is. i think he will probably flip a few times in his grave if he hears the way you read"
HAHA SERIOUSLY, JAMES'S WORSE! HAHA he even skipped a whole stanza!
james, reading reading.
"err, james? where are you?"- mel
"urm im at"
"i cant find it"
"OH, YOU SKIPPED A WHOLE STANZA!"
HAHAHAHAHAH
"kim likes the guy whos reading the poem"
"okay nvm"
"kim likes the guy whos reading the poem"
"i know. apart from that?"
OMG LAH. i dont even like him! i just think that hes damn funny! haha and and he wears CHECKERED SOCKS. haha i dont know why. but im just damn amused by him. i kept on laughing at him man. haha
then he asked us to give word to describe miss hia. damn funny lah.
"give me some words and phrases to describe her and we will.."
"LEAVE IT ON THE BOARD!"
"no no, we will analyse them together"
haha. "3 car tires!" "teapot!" "she ate the seven dwarves!" "she spoils the weighing machine!" " snorlax!" "i can see my handphone number when she stands on the weighing machine!" haha it was so funny. we laughed and laughed lah.
"what a lively class" HAHAH
alright. then ss was fine. had some test. wrote three lines for each question. and i was off to dreamland. then mr ow asked me to use the textbook. haha i couldn be bothered lah. but i wrote much more anyway, with the help of the textbook. haha
math was alright. miss yeo wasn around. so this boring teacher came. and we didn give a shit about him. then bio was next. i was bored. so i slept again. it aint fun know. 17 hours in five days. im so hell tired man. hah.
after school. had a sumptuous lunch. then went to town. tried this forever 21 skirt. i like, i want (: haha. went back to school. played captains ball. haha we laughed like mad retards i tell you. hahah so funny lah.
nic and corinne are darn funny. one speaks CORINGLISH. which consists of "I DOES TAKE BIO", "HE PROVOKTED ME", "THIRTEEN MUSIC" and nic practises NICLISM. which is "IM SO TALL", "IM THE PRETTIEST", "IM HOT"
haha i thought of those for them (: yay. thank me! haha
alright. so we all got into some trouble at the end of the day. damn that freaking teacher. ohwells. perhaps we will have to stand at the front tmr. i hope not ): haha. so yah. off to dover for dinner. corinne, nic aileen and i.
so yah. ate, chatted and all. then aileen was like "can we execute now?"
then corinne went "WOAH, SO CHIM"
then nic went "yah lor"
then i "HUHHHHHH!" and i burst out laughing. hahahah damn funny lah.
"its evacuate lah! what execute!" hahaha
then everyone laughed like mad. then i "okay stop it. dont jack corinne lah. i DOES want to make her happy okay"
aileen was crazy afterward. christopher said that she was fat. then she kept whining. haha. she was eating her ice cream then she blamed us for walking so slowly, if not she wouldnt have got her ice cream. then i was like "I TOLD U NOT NICE DONT BUY RIGHT! THEN U STILL BUY!" haha that mad idiot. then when her bus came. she stood at the bus stop. then she stepped darn hard onto the bus. BOMP. haha damn funny i tell you! i laughed like mad lah. the bus driver was like shocked. haha
hah then yah bussed home and stuff.
> hmm neo ah neo. please cheer up okay. love you my great great friend. take care.
"just because a person does not love you the way you want him or her to, it doesn mean that he or she doesn love you with all he or she has"
it got me thinking, real hard.
it struck me. its so true. i felt as if you didn care. cause you didn treat me the way i wanted you to. and you kept on reassuring me that you care. but i just kept on saying that it seemed so empty cause they are but just words. its the actions that will make me feel cared for. argh. im sorry. i was so superficial.
hmm. slept real early today morning huh. was reading thru some msn conversations. and i realised that ahh. im so freaking mean. so freaking evil. so damn bad lah. ahh damn damn damn, im really really sorry. like what you said. its over alr anyway. but yah. i feel so bad. i really do. i know what i say now dont matter anymore. but yah, i feel bad. i treated u like some crap. like some damn present. my goodness. i placed myself in ur shoes and i thought thru. i was like ripping ur heart out. ugh damn. i feel like such an asshole. oh my. im so darnnnnnn sorry man.
i no longer have that strong desire to want us back. i mean i will love to have us back. if it happens then great. but if it doesnt then yah, let it be. hmm i dont know what happened man. perhaps im numbed. perhaps im too upset til i dont care anymore. i dont know. let nature take its course. quite sure that we wont be us again. hmm rather sad huh. bt yah. its not too bad being friends either. guess we will both be happy. i never want to let go but yah. its okay. i'll try to treat u like how i treated u before tenth april. im kinda scared tho. cos u were never angry with me. tho i scratched u, by accident and whacked u and stuff. but now, im scared that u will be angry if i disturb u like before. cause no matter what, things arent the same. hmm dont know man. hope that we can be together again, but i dont want it as bad anymore. i dont mind being good friends, just platonic good friends. hmm yupp
sorry for being such a bad girlfriend. for trying to push you away. for being upset with you most of the time. theres many misunderstandings. but yah guess its no point clearing up also. hah. thanks for all the fond memories. for all the sweet nothings and all. they were melting me up inside today morning. the memories, they are so so dear to me. i will love to hear you say "i love you" to me again. tho it wont ever happen i guess. so yah, all the best and take tonnes of care. im so darn sorry for treating u so badly. u were so darn nice. ahh im sorry alright. if we give ourselves another try, i wont treat you that way again. ohwells. im sorry. thanks for everything yah? thanks for not letting go, thanks for holding on so tightly when i wanted so much to end it. im so very sorry for being so selfish. for not thinking about your feelings, for insisting on pushing you to her, for ignoring all those really sweet stuff that you said to change my mind. im sorry. very very sorry. but yah, your love, your persistance. theyre sweet stuff. thanks. yah perhaps this is the final time i will say this to you, i love you.
8/20/2006 07:18:00 PM
i love the green. its soo pretty (:
HAH look at dricee!
he was saying, what lah, now ah, fight lah. HAHAHA
joash lee and me (:
zhiyi! haha
im taller, but i bent a lil. dont want to paiseh him. HAHA
my pet dino and i! see his face. a but the girly ah.
LOOK! hes not an ah pek today! haha
cutieeee! kengheng is DARN cute!
my whiner lissa CHOO (:
jacq, xing and me (:
jacq yunxing me and evan! lissa was in the toilet. haha
alright, i had pretty much fun. im so darn tired. dont think im gonna sleep. haha
8/20/2006 02:00:00 AM
hmm im so lazy to blog about ytd. tmr night then blog lah. haha
so todayyy. woke up quite early. talked to elis on the phone. then got ready to go out. met yunxing evan jacq and lissa choo on 105. off to far east. hah walked around and stuff. bought a couple of things. then yah. it was fun going out with them. this is my first time out with them know. haha. we did quite alot of stupid things. like standing all together on one step on the escalator? haha. and then i didn wear what i planned to wear. i just anyhow wear. i looked like crap lah. hah
all of us bought something i think. haha. then ate cheese sausage. then we were frantically trying to get a cab that takes five. so yah. got rejected a couple of times. then we got on this cab. this old lady who looks darn cute. and shes freaking nice. she allowed us to eat on her cab somemore lah.
hmm. so cabbed there. got off. saw retarded best friend. got stunned for a moment. hmm so went in. met up with al the four dee ppl then went in. hah
esmonde tan looked good today, not like his usual ah pek! haha. kengheng is DAMN handsome! cedric goh also! ian chang also! haha. actually all the four dee guys looked good lah! all in formal clothes and yah. handsome bunch. haha
the musical's pretty alright. robert is funny and all. he and his broom. haha. quite enjoyable. i nearly fell asleep though.
haha, had a real bad throat. and i screamed so loudly for miss liang and miss yeo. now my throat's like CRAP.
OH thank you dinoooooooooo! for the flu tablet! my flu's like gone! haha just a lil unwell now. thank you so much, sweet stuff (: haha
ohyah. took pics and all. KENG HENG IS SUCH A BULLY LAH )))): HERHHH. IM TALLER THAN JIAYI! hahaha (: cause of heels lah.
we squeezed into the lift that stated "MAXIMUM LOAD: 8PEOPLE" hmm not many of us went in lah, just FIFTEEN! haha (:
so yah. after that went out with the perfect ten, minus kennedy ): haha. so yah. bussed to cathay, got tickets. then bussed to cine for dinner at maestro bistro. they took a damn long time to serve our food. we were late for our movie lah. we were running. then wah piang. i got stitch damn painful. somemore i was wearing heels but aileen switched with me. haha then in the end, the rest ran. then neo aileen and i took cab (:
hmm, saw sth that got me down a lil. but yah. im alright. caught my super ex girlfriend. i kept dozing off. im so darn tired. hmm.
so after that. went to starbucks. wanted to catch the break up. but we didnt. yah. had ice cocoa. leon teh bought sweet for me (: thank you, you stupid ass. i really think that leon teh is darnnnnnn sweet lah. haha
so after a while. took seven with neo leon and jarold. was talking to neo thru out. ahh that ass. hmm. so yah. now im home. today was pretty fun and alright. haha.
`ahh neoooooo, my great great friend! please be happy and please please cheer up. and i'll ALWAYS be here for you okay! promise! (: i love you my great great friend. remember our promise?
`leon teh, youre super sweet (:
`soh chye aik, ure a greatt pet to have. tho u can be a damn pain in the ass. but thanks for al the late night chats. staying up to chat with me tho ure like half dead. haha thanks for everything! and the flu tablet! (: love you my pet dinosaur. HAHA gg gg gg! HAHAHHA
`NICOLETTE SUM. I LOVE YOU SO SUPER MUCH ALRIGHT!
`CORINNE CHUA! please be happy my dearest (:
`joel, thanks for everything.
`keng heng, URE SO MEAN. herrrh. hahaha. IM NOT GONNA TALK TO YOU!
i have decided that i should go out with you. i felt real bad after saying no for so many times. im sorry (:
haha im kinda happy. i dont know why! but yah, maybe i really dont care anymore. felt a teeny weeny bit down just now. but now im okay! i think i'll be just fine. haha hope so lah. im so darn tired and i want to sleep. but i cannot cannot cannot. must stay up for the two of you. i will, even if i just faint tmr or sth, i still must be there for you two. promise.
haha. so yah, you still didn sms me. expected lah huh. but its alright. haha like what elis said, i have other ppl to sms. hah ure quite mean to me huh. but well, its okay. haha
i thought i was real positive. till dino tell me "i think ure just deceiving urself" actually kinda true lah huh. haha but well, im really alright now. and im quite happy, i have no idea why. haha. yay, my flu's kinda gone. my dino's tablet is wonderful. haha
leon told me that he wrote neo an email, i said i want one too. and he just wrote me one! yay! (: LEON TEH IS SOOOOO SWEET!
theres carnival later on. i gotta wake up at 5. AHH damn. haha
8/20/2006 01:14:00 AM
Saturday, August 19, 2006
this sucks sooooo bad.
how nice can you get, i really wonder
/that line marked GROUND ZERO
8/19/2006 01:25:00 AM
Friday, August 18, 2006
today was a ROCKING FUN DAY! tonnes of things to blog about. but im real tired. gonna bathe and all and im gonna crash. hah. theres musical tomorrow. 26 fourdee-ers are going. YAY! (: gonna meet and go for lunch with STFs and the guys (: i smell funnnnnn! haha
hmm yah. retarded best friend saw the slideshow alr. he didn say much. ohwells. wonder if he appreciates it. 165 slides alright. ohwells. twelve freaking hours on that thing. hah. somehow i feel hes not touched at all.
mummy was mad last night. i was on the com and she called "LETS GO EAT DURIAN" "kay set" reached geylang at 11pm. reached home at 12.25 am. hah
hah kay lah. shall blog tmr night or sth. will be going out with THE PERFECT TEN after the musical. ahh i cant wait!
LEON TEH IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER.
hah. what can i say. since its like that, so be it. i couldn care less. im not gonna cry anymore. read thru ur smses. and yah, i didn cry.
im trying to treat you like how i treat my other good guy friends.
perhaps i was wrong. perhaps you didn want us back. perhaps i misinterpreted. so be it then. its so tiring. but yah, im kinda alright.
im NOT going to start a sms or conversation anymore. im not gonna wait either. if it happens, then alright. if it doesnt, too bad. im SICK of taking the initiative, of hoping to receive a sms.
how nice you are.
8/18/2006 10:39:00 PM
Thursday, August 17, 2006
FRIDAY
so yah. i didn go to school. the girlies called me from the toilet. told me some news. and yah i was so shocked. really man, thank god. it was totally a miracle. was down and all. was so down that i didn go to school. went out reluctantly for the planetshakers concert. met up with the girlies at expo. then yah, waited for the guys to come. they were later for like an hour. and so yah, we only went in for a short time then yah, we gotta go out cause the concert had ended. hah. trained to clementi. then train ride was fun. snapping pictures and all. drawing on each other. neo was superrrrrr funny. "WELCOME TO SMRT. THE TRAIN IS GOING TO SELF DESTRUCT IN TEN.... THANK YOU FOR TRAVELLING WITH SMRT. WELCOME" hah i laughed like crap alright. hah. yah. so had macs at clementi. then bussed home with neo and wesley. neo was sleeping like a log. and i had to pull his ear to wake him up, and beg him not to oversleep. haha
so yah. came home. grabbed my stuff. got to julia's. was smsing three people. and damn, they are a sweet bunch. hah. hmm you guys know who you all are lah huh. so yah played cards and all. then corinne nic and i were talking downstairs. on the sofas. then we slept at five plus.
SATURDAY
woke up at nine. nic corinne and i got ready and all. julia's parents dropped us off in orchard. got my slippers changed. corinne got her top. had starbucks. then walked for a damn long time to get to julia's parents' car. went to imm to get CHOCOLATE BANANA CAKE (: yah then got back to julia's. slacked around and stuff. then we made many many water balloons. and yah, our fingers hurt like crap from tying the balloons. so yah, got ready everything. corinne and i were pushing the trolley with all the balloons out when THE GUYS GOT OUT FROM THE LIFT. omg, then we hurriedly turned and went the other way. got to the bbq pit and all. many balloons burst ):
hid the balloons. played on the swing and stuff. played cards and all. > you are giving me the wrong idea. okay, no one knows who is that for. hmm wells. then yah jarold joel and neo came. then started bbqing. then after a while. we started playing with the water balloons. then ppl got dumped into the pool and all. haha it was mad mad fun. yupp. the guard came and stop us. then we continued bbqing. then after that, we started playing again. haha then we cut the cake. CAKE SMASHING TIME! everyone was dirty dirty DIRTY! haha eew. oily and everything. but the cake's NICE (:
so yah. washed up and stuff. and everyone went into the pool. more dunking and all. hah mad fun. but yah, i had many wounds ): thanks to KENNEDY AND LEON TEH. assholes. haha but yah i had alot of fun. neo and i were shivering like mad as we talked. haha so funny lah that ass. and yah thanks kennedy for water taxi rides (: yupp thank you leon and neo for everything. nic and corinne for being there. aileen for the warm warm hugs (:
haha it was crazy man. playing with the float and all. hah and there were tour guides, jem and kennedy or leon i think. haha so stupid lah. pulling us around the pool, introducing us to the ANIMALS. haha jarold is walrus lim. then joel is dont know what weird creature luh.
haha stayed in the pool till 11. it was crazy fun (: hah yah. so got up and all. went up to julia's. washed up and everything. the guys went to neo's to get clothes. then yah they all came back at around twelve plus. then jarold had to go home. so yah. the rest stayed and played cards. i was down yet again. ohwells.
LEON TEHHHHH, thanks for everything man you sweetheart. it was so really sweet of you. to ask me if im okay when i was lying in the hammock. to cover me with towels when i said i was cold. to come and asked me if i want to watch dvd. to ask me if i want the lights off. to cover me with more towels when i was on the sofa. to put so many cushions on me to keep me warm. to pass me tissue when i needed them. heyy ure a real sweet fella. hah thanks for everything alright? (: and you ass, u slept on my feet. then i couldnt move. then my legs were numbed lah. idiot. but still, thanks for being such a sweet guy.
so yah. everyone slept. woke up pretty early the next morning. sat alone in the hammock again. yah. played cards but i was real down. so i didn want to play. then yah, smsed and smsed. batt was flat. so i used julia's phone to sms. i sent like 250 smses in just that afternoon and night. madness. im so gonna die of radiation.
then yah had dinner and all. watched a bit of tv. packed up and went back home at around 11.
MONDAY
math was up first. dric asked me something about math. then i hadnt answer then he "aiyah, waste my time asking you" that ass. hah. pe was next. softball again. boring. i dont like. hah. recess was fine. after recess was ss. was tying mund and colin's hair. HAHA MUND CHOO'S HAIR CANT BE TIED LAH. and colin's hair is so freaking long! haha. math was next. usual chatting session with me bestest bestest bestest best friend. then chem was next. didn do much. slept a lil. had jjc talk in the audi. and i fell asleep. heyy i was really tired. i only slept for 2 hours lah. was up doing the thing for my retarded best friend.
so yah, after that. had lunch. then i went to town with weijie, charmaine, elis and joshua. yupp. saw this mambo skirt.
back to school. part two planning for jarold's party. then went back home.
TUESDAY
chapel was alright. hah i didn know joel lim will go on stage and sing. hah. yupp. math was stupid. BORING SHIT. english was alright. miss mano didn come. so it was a slacking period. recess was alright. usual stuff. then bio pract was next. didn have pract. had lesson. ohman, it was so damn boring that i was gonna die. then chem was next. did my chem quiz. im so proud of myself. 4 pages. i didn even answered like 8 questions? ohwells. and i actually fell asleep while doing the paper outside the classroom. and so i finished it in like 10minuts? with many many blanks. went back to class and slept. math was next. boring stuff again. but i love math lessons cause elis and i will talk, NON STOP. hah jiayi tried to lie that he had oral. miss yeo actually believed. haha and that idiot came back to class. then miss yeo asked him to clean the board. hah
after school. had lunch. then went off to town to get jarold's presents. nic corinne julia and me. yah it was great fun. yah. those mad tardds. saw more things that i want to get (: hah. went back home at 8 plus? got on the com. i was so damn tired. 4 hours of sleep in two days.
then yah. i was so freakin pissed off with my uncle. ohwells, shant talk about it. the cd burner gave me problems and i was so scared. conferenced with nic leon neo and joel. it was super funny. neo made me laugh like an idiot. so yah, planned everything. slept late. was on the phone with chye aik.
WEDNESDAY
went to school. alright, as usual. hah. chinese was first. i dont have to retake my chinese. so from now onwards. i have 7 free periods on weds and thurs. hah. so yah. then was threeeee periods of math. was talking and talking again. then elis kept saying the retarded best friend is damn cute. hah. well, he is.
asked dricee to record the kidnapping thing for me. then that idiot was like, HUH MEANS I NEED TO GO HIS HOUSE? then i NO, RECORD. RECORDDDD. bio was boring. i slept. and its the first time mr chan asked me to get up. i was pissed off with him at the beginning of the lesson lah. i was talking to kennedy outside then he said "SOME PPL STILL CAN GO AND TALK TO OTHER PPL" wahlao a while only right.
HMMPH. recess was next. passed jarold his present. HAPPY BIRTHDAY U SUCKER. hmm. yupp. then went to learn at fairfield. was practising reading. then norman was practising conversation. "i can tell that its lil india" "how u know its lil india" "cause i can see many lil indians around" THERE WERE NO INDIANS LAH. there were ONLY BIKES. hahaahahhaha.
hmm english was next. nothing much. 3 periods of pure slacking. hah. and i tried my hardest to change my oral to thursday. and i succeeded. so to lunch at dover with the girlies. then after that, kennedy and i faked that we were going to watch movie. but we went to holland to buy cake. then nic cor and jul went to jarold's house to deco first.
cabbed there. then yah. kennedy (: haha. hmm. deco and everything. i think jarold's dogs are ral cute. especially the white one but hes so hostile ): hah. so yah. we decorate like mad. haha. and then we kept calling the guys to ask them hurry get jarold home. the plan was to play hide and seek and then jarold is the catcher. then they will all run and take cab to jarold's house. hah. but then earlier on in the day, kiefer went to say some rubbish lah. hes not even involved. damn him. hmm. yah. then the guys thought that the plan couldnt work anymore.
so they just ran off and left jarold alone in school. so we were waiting and waiting. then joel lim helped us. hah hes involved in the plan also. so we rehearsed and all. haha. and jarold finally came home near 8 -_-" we waited for such a long time. haha heard the doorbell and then barking. so everyone ducked down. then heard his mum talking to him. then his mum's friends talking to him. then POP!! everyone jumped up and got into action. hah, asked neo to burst the balloon in his face so that he would get a shock. and then everyone will get up and tie him up and blindfold him. hah i filled the bath tub. so after they tied him up. into the bath tub he went, with flour on him. haha. so yah. it was funny and all. then sang him bday song, he cut the cake. we ate pizza. played cards. burst balloons. haha it was fun.
hmm yah. thank you joel lim, for your help (:
hmm yea. so went home at ten plus. cried on the way home. made a painful decision. ohwells. got back. went online for a while. chatted with chye on the phone again. then yah. was real tired. so i went to bed past midnight. chye never fails to make me smile, to cheer me up, hes always always there for me. thanks budd
THURSDAY
woke up. feeling kinda weird and all. to school. yah. english was first. practised oral and all. neo was having pe. haha that idiot. chinese was next. three free periods. was chatting with chye outside learnat fairfield. then suddenly i looked into miss wong's class. and i saw leon teh waving at me! THEN I WAVED BACK OF COURSE! haha
went to the chess tables. i DID MY COMPRE. HAHAHAH. esmonde is damn mean lah. "YOU DO UR WORK AND HAND IN ON TIME, I WILL JUMP DOWN THE BUILDING FOR YOU TO SEE" -_________-"
recess was alright. we can have a longggggggg recess! haha
ss was next. boring stuff. slept again. ahhhhhhh EDMUND CHOO (: i love mund choo my best friend! i wrote on his hand. EDMUND CHOO IS MY BEST FRIEND! love, kim. hahaha. lit was next. an hour of chatting. was fun. ohwells. elis and i kept talking about retarded best friend. hmm ohwells.
fairsian connect was next. yunxing and i were like some jackasses. we went up to the hall and 4e wasnt there. then the two of us had to leave ourselves half way for oral. so malu. hah.
so yah. i waited two hours plus for my turn. ate sweet, chatted and i slept. OMG. i slept for so long somemore lah. hah. think i kinda messed it up. but wells, its over.
went to find the girls. ate. then yah we played hide and seek with neo they all. quite fun. yah. actually we only played a round. haha. i found a good hiding spot. SHHH. hmm ohyah! NIC WAS SHOUTING THEN I THREW ALOT OF LEAVES AT HER. A FEW PIECES WENT INSIDE HER MOUTH. HAHAHAH.
went home with neo and julia. talked alot to that idiot. heyy my great great friend (: hes damn FREAKING CUTE!! when he said "ahh, i feel like farting" i gave him the DONT U DARE look. then he "i control i control" haha damn funny lah that ass. WELCOME TO NEO'S ISLAND. hahaha
so yah. now im home. bloggin. was down and all before hide and seek. cried with one of my darlings. hah it was stupid. ohwells.
/its never easy making that choice. but i guess its what you want. you seemed like you wanted us back, at least a lil. thats why i didn want to let go. but now, after yesterday night. i decided to let go. its so painful. it is. but if thats what it takes to see you happy, so be it. promise me you'll be happy alright.
im so sick of taking the initiative. i really am.
how i wish you will talk to me
8/17/2006 09:14:00 PM